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How to Stop Being So Defensive During Arguments

—Photo-Illustration by TIME (Source Image: years/Getty Images)Here's a reliable way to tell that an argument has gone sideways: You started out discussing who was supposed to load the dishwasher, and you're now somewhere in the vicinity of a canceled dinner in 2019, your mother-in-law, or whether anyone in this household appreciates anyone else."It's like, ‘Wait, how did we get here?’" says Jessica Harrison, a couples counselor in Rhode Island. "That's a sign that somebody somewhere is being defensive."It can be difficult to recognize when you’re being defensive, because it rarely feels that...