If you’re a person of a certain age — or a woman of any age — Instagram can be a bit like Willy Wonka’s factory, except the gobstoppers are magnesium-infused, the chocolate river is liquid collagen and the Oompa-Loompas are beauty influencers wielding jade rollers instead of lollipops. There was a time when washing our face before bed (most nights) and remembering to pop a multivitamin meant we were winning at self-care. Now there are multistep routines for body parts we didn’t know needed them. (Lookin’ at you, Kourtney Kardashian’s Lemme Purr vagina lollipops.) How is a normal person meant t...

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